Rie chats crap // v.1

Sunday, May 31, 2009 4:07 PM

Extremely pissed off. Why can't I find Rockett's Devil Lock-print trucker hat anywhere?? I'm gonna cry, I wants it. Still. Bloody 3 or 4 years now...?

I burnt myself yesterday. I thinks. My skin's so sore. Bloody sun and heat, I hate it... 40 degree celcius in the sun is a bit much.

I think I'm gonna go run naked in the lake now. Haha.

"this smile isn't forever"

Thursday, May 28, 2009 9:57 AM

Soooo I'm at my dad's. Not possible not get online every day, 1)because he's strict when it comes to internet time and 2)danger of thunder storms. ( he lives pretty much in the middle of nowhere :P )

Uhm...
I have problems. But I knew that already, and so did you.

Fuck.

Can't be bothered to go into it. Hmh. Stopped smoking, by the way. Yay....

Fucktwice. ( Eeeee, Agito in Air Gear is way too adorable when he says "fuck" :3 )

"just a passerby"

x

Sunday, May 24, 2009 1:37 AM

It should'nt fucking surprise me that people are assholes. Really, most people have their head so far up their ass that they could not object to my statement.

It really pisses me off. Someone agreed to help today, and then surprise surprise, they turned out to be a complete fucking twat of an ass. Oh, not to mention they ate their promise. More like shoved it back up their ass, actually.

Guessed I''m preeeeeeeeeeeeeetty angry right now? No? This person, they basically decided not to help me after all because they (I hate to use this word soooo much) fancy me. And after I answered their question if I'm in a relationship with anyone (kinda complicated, but kinda yes), their completely fucking ignored my request for help, which by the way had been agreed on earlier already.

So yes. People can be real asses, and I've lost most of my faith and trust.

As a result to this, my health really deteriorated today. I got home around 10:30pm, because believe it or not I had been helping this guy pack his stuff. So I get home, and pretty much collapse on the fucking sofa 'cos I've zero energy. I hadn't eaten today, and I've pretty much no food left. (Probably guessed it, I had asked this guy to lend me some money until the 1st of June)
Soooo, I'm on the sofa, and have no energy at all. I have this fucking burning at the tip of my throat, and fee nauseous because of it. I hovered between conscious and unconscious for an hour or so. Then I decided, right, I'm gonn get to bed now.
That's when I threw up. Nice throwing up just water and stomach acids, by the way.

Soooo... I might have to go to hospital. I'm gonna have to stay up for now, just monitor myself. If I throw up again, I'm calling an ambulance.

But fuck.

Really fucking hard to find people you can trust nowadays, ne?

"i'm just your toy, a puppet on a string"

x

Saturday, May 23, 2009 1:33 PM

I like to think I've grown up enough these past 3-4 years in order to forgive and forget. I don't want to be one to hold grudges. I like to think so of other people too.
Have I grown enough? Can I consider myself an adult, if I still depend on other people, especially financial-wise? Yes I live by myself (which is still a little beyond me, guess it quite hasn't sunk in yet) and yes I try to handle my stuff and issues myself. (At this point I have to thank my mum, she's a Super Mum who I couldn't live without... well, duhh. But you know what I mean.)

I'm not sure which direction my life's heading right now. It's a bit overwhelming, I've alot on my mind. I want to apologise in advance if I don't reply to messages, on Facebook/DeviantArt/Subeta/Email/whatever, right now I just cannot handle everything at once.

One thing I yearn for, is acknowledgement for things I've said and done. That just occured to me, and I think the lack of it sometimes is partly the reason why I'm so down.

... I don't know what I've just typed, by the way.... my mind's all over the place, so if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna head back to spend time with Air Gear.

... and no, I do NOT spend too much time on the laptop. Just a fore-note (if that's even a word, idk)

"the intense wish that fell from those lips"

x

Friday, May 22, 2009 7:29 PM

Idkrite.

Do NOT download Veoh Video Compass, it's exceedingly annoying when you Google.

In other news, my mood's getting much worse. Just today, I've burst into tears for no apparent reason 4 times. And I sleep alot, I woke up around 3 today. That's approximately 12 hours of sleep I had (I say approximately because I kept waking pretty much exactly every 2 hours).

I feel like dying. It being the weekend doesn't help, all my neighbours' having fun etc etc etc.
To put it simply, my life sucks atm.

"i will call it solitude when all my songs fade in vain"

x

BACK-ON ::: Chain

Thursday, May 21, 2009 11:10 PM

On Top to break da chain.
no pain don't be afraid
but kawaranai
same ol'days same ol'ways.
mawari tsudukeru tokei uh...kawakikitta koukei
Repeat sareta mainichi
zutto kakedasenai kono houteishiki
KAGO no naka de ayatsurareta PUPPET
kakikesunda Noise...
Can you hear my voice

hakidashite nagesuteta
rikutsu bakari no hokori
kanashimi ni hibiku kaze jiyuu he to sasou
Go my way

saa ikouze! (On time to break da chain, no pain don't be afraid.)
kusari hazushite! (Yo, Jiyuu motome toke mukae kaihou e)
tsubasa hiroge! (Oh, That's the sign its time to try you gotta fly)
aoi sekai he... (Uh, Ue mo shita mo nai, You gotta grab the sky)

teritsukeru hizashide ichinichi hajimari
itsumo toori SNEAKER ni HIMOdooshi
onaji michi nori onajimi no story.
I wanna step in da michi no ryouiki
Hell I know you can't stop me
hikari wo mitsuketa toki no you ni
The winds at my back
so it's time to fly
jibun shinji tobitateyo right now!

haiiro ni tsutsumareta taiyou wo yobisamasu
haiboku wo korogashite asu he to tsunagu my wish

saa ikouze! (On time to break da chain, no pain don't be afraid.)
kusari hazushite! (Yo, Jiyuu motome toke mukae kaihou e)
tsubasa hiroge! (Oh, That's the sign its time to try you gotta fly)
aoi sekai he... (Uh, Ue mo shita mo nai, You gotta grab the sky)

You ready to wake up you gotta fly with us
You ready to wake up you gotta fly with us
You ready to wake up you gotta fly with us
You ready to wake up you gotta fly...

You ready to wake up you gotta fly with us
yami ga me wo samasu mou hikari sasu
You ready to wake up you gotta fly with us
yami ga me wo samasu mou hikari sasu...

saa ikouze! (On time to break da chain, no pain don't be afraid.)
kusari hazushite! (Yo, Jiyuu motome toke mukae kaihou e)
tsubasa hiroge! (Oh, That's the sign its time to try you gotta fly)
aoi sekai he... (Uh, Ue mo shita mo nai, You gotta grab the sky)

~~Air Gear's opening is just love :D

10:48 PM

4:59 PM

I hate being forced to keep my thoughts in line, and not let my mind relax, even for a minute.
This is what smoking does for you kids, don't start.

The past 2 days I've had to keep myself focused. On nothing particular, but focused all the same. If I start thinking about things too much, I'll get so fucking depressed I feel I need to smoke. Constantly.
I'm so snappy, yet indifferent to things. Nothing interests me, I feel I've no want nor need to speak to anyone, like I'M indifferent to others.

I honestly don't know where to put my mind right now. I'm all over the place.

x

4:34 PM

Ohnoez D: I hate this MySQL-squirrel.

2:59 PM

Oh look. The little box follows you... aaaww...

1:35 PM

Hmm... can it be this hard finding a javascript for comments....

1:57 AM

Fuck this.

I'm going to bed and try to get some sleep.

Extreme crap.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009 10:15 PM

I am extremely dangerous right now...
... no money for the rest of the month means I'm really worried and stressed. Barely any food at my place means I'll be cranky and edgy. NO CIGARETTES means I'm at a point where I will snap at anything and anyone.

Not good times. Fucking hell, not at all. I fail at producing any good art, I fail at sleeping through the night, and my flat's such a mess it disgusts me.

But know what? I can't be fucking BOTHERED.

Rawrh. Someone gimme a shotgun and a truckload of bound chavs to shoot one by one, maybe I'll feel better.

Now excuse my fucking sorry self, I'm off to watch One Piece.

"gimme your sweet morphine and i'll listen to all your lies"

x

7:32 PM

Fuck YOU, Mr. Life. You suck major male genitalia and I want nothing to do with youuuuu.

... didn't help much, but at least that told him.

Rawr rawr rawr.

hide yourself from reality

2:57 PM

I fail.

Yesterday when I was taking photos by the river, I had my mechanical pencil in my mouth because I wanted to find a good place to sit and sketch. So I was leaning over the railing of the bridge, and surprise surprise, I dropped that damn pencil.

It was my best one too. And my favourite. I'm still pissed off. :/

"you are here, alone again, in your sweet insanity"

x

this is love from MoondustDreams

2:00 PM

For my new forumset on Subeta. This is just pure love.
Most of you aren't familair with Subeta, so I'm just gonna say this is my current Human Avatar (an avatar system, basically a male/female you can dress with the wearable items on the site). Because it's for a forumset, it's sideways. But hawtdamn.

thank you Scright

3:21 AM

Yeah, Scott's an asswipe. :D

He likes to hurt my feelings. ):<

from my visions of the world

1:28 AM

It's fucking ridiculous how much I've abused the free anime streaming on Kumby these past 2 weeks. So far I've watched, hmm...

Loveless
Elfen Lied
Welcome to the NHK
.hack // Sign
.hack // Liminality

.hack // Sign was so damn confusing. Hell it made little sense to me. Well, it's .hack // Legend of the Twilight next, which I've read as a manga. Then .hack // Roots, which is the final anime in the series. I think. Damn there's so much of it. My head's gonna fucking explode.

I think Kumby and this blog prove that I have no life.
The 100 Themes - challenge on deviantart offers a way for me to break away from the trap, so to speak. I'm really preoccupied with it as of now, my mind's on something else other than what anime to watch next. It also gives me a reason to draw with purpose, rather than doodle shit I don't ever submit online.
Idkrite, I've been so stressed this month, moreso than previously. I've no money left whatsoever, and that's bringing me down more than anything.

But there are other issues, which I'm not prepared to go into.

"if you are near to the dark, i will tell you 'bout the sun"

Welcome to the Beginning.

1:05 AM

Fuck this is just a welcome note and a test. Go do something productive, this blog goes live later.

x

1:02 AM

I really hate these testing stages.

But figures I have to keep posting so my blog doesn't look as retarded as I do.

x

1:01 AM

.

... figures.

x